Call Clooney!

1242 Smokin’ Hot (2020-05-14)

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0:00:00JCD: “Two thousand attorneys say Trump sucks!” (2:38:04)
0:00:37JCD reminisces about Ice Bucket Challenge, ACC delighted with his new haircut delivered by stylist caught flat-footed by reopening; Texas Attorney General chides Austin for issuing unlawful orders for small businesses to avoid “public shaming”, Mayor Adler twice makes reference to “another surge”; ACC’s stylist notes mask wearing as political statement, ACC: “MAGA masks!”, JCD’s “old woman with great legs” conundrum
0:13:06ACC apologizes for passing off Fauci’s March 6 “there’s no reason to be walking around with a mask” as being from May 6; Judy Woodruff “masks!” iso, Fauci on April 3: asymptomatic carriers can spread virus “merely by speaking”, JCD: “shut up!”, regretful admission that US can’t be as draconian as China; ACC’s incomprehensible McDonald’s drive-through experience
0:21:22Amy Goodman gloats about report predicting “surge!”, evil maskless Republicans in Senate Health Committee hearing in contrast to Democrats in “balaclavas”; Washington Post on Birx and Redfield arguing about CDC’s inaccurate statistics, Fauci the lone voice claiming actual counts are higher; Laura Ingraham revisits admission from Illinois DPH official Ngozi Ezike about “they had COVID at the time of the death” metric; Rand Paul raises issue of mortality in children vs reopening schools, “wrong prediction after wrong prediction”
0:35:17ACC’s Jesuit New World Order Pope prediction and Fauci’s Jesuit background; Ingraham excoriates transgender Pennsylvania Department of Health Secretary Rachel Levine for extricating her mother before ordering nursing homes to accept coronavirus patients; Andrew Cuomo’s catastrophic order allowing COVID-19 patients in nursing homes, JCD: “this doesn’t help the Trump clock!”; ACC terrorized by e-mails diagnosing infected eye as the first symptom
0:48:23Ingraham on declining cases in Florida and Georgia; Los Angeles County potentially extending lockdown through August; California restaurants filling dining rooms with mannequins; ACC tries out new liberal shaming meme “if you vote for Trump you’re voting for the virus”
0:54:43China takes a swipe at Trump by announcing 14M tests in 10 days in Wuhan
0:57:03Amy Goodman editorializes about Democrats’ $3T Heroes Act including expansion of Paycheck Protection Program “to bail out corporate lobbyist firms” and protect polluters; Trump comes to questionable “voting package” conclusion, Tucker Carlson outraged at stimulus for illegal aliens in essential industries and immunity to deportation, enhanced Lifeline “Obama phone” provision, “Don’t Break Up the T-Band” section; Nancy Pelosi’s “three pillars” in fight against COVID-19: “honor our heroes”, “open up government by testing, tracing, treatment, etcetera”, and cash handouts, “they use it [low interest rates] to bolster the stock market, we want to use it to bolster the American people”; Anthony Scaramucci calls for “more helicopter money”; Trump abruptly goes all-in on negative interest rates: “I’ve been looking for something like that all my life!” (CotD); EU belatedly realizing Germany runs the show
1:19:57ACC battling sneaky contactless thermometer spam, “H-J-K-L, that’s where I live”
1:24:03Nick the Rat asks John McAfee about the lunch he owes JCD
1:28:29Producer Segment: Comic Strip Blogger jingle resurrected; JCD vs “smokin’ hot”
1:56:52Woody Allen’s masterpiece A Rainy Day in New York censored by Amazon under cancel culture pressure, JCD reminisces about “I’ve got a gub” scene
2:00:21CBS trots out Jeff Pegues to report on Chinese efforts to steal coronavirus research secrets, JCD’s RFK Jr. spasmodic dysphonia theory, Iranian hackers also sniffing Gilead executives; 60 Minutes on silencing of Wuhan whistleblower, Pompeo propagating “debunked theory” of man-made agent; activist reporter Weijia Jiang accosts Trump over his “ask China” response, ACC: “do you really think she expected the President to say, well clearly you’ve got slitty eyes, you’re a gook, whaddya wa… I mean what are Hell are these people doing??”, Trump ends press conference after exchange with indignant CNN reporter Kaitlan Collins; Van Jones backs out of NABJ National Association of Black Journalists webinar sponsored by Huawei; University of Arkansas professor arrested for sketchy dealings with China
2:15:48JCD critiques “Obamagate” jingles from voice talent Dame Jennifer; ACC’s history of FISA and overview of its abuses in Michael Flynn case; NSA Director Mike Rogers testifying in 2017 about the hoop-jumping required to unmask a US citizen via FISA; barely-factual New York Times article “Trump White House Rewrites History, This Time About Flynn”
2:28:23Joe Biden contradicts himself deflecting Flynn question with help from a voice in his ear on Good Morning America, ACC predicts Hillary swoop; Rand Paul on Obama “inner circle” abusing government power to spy on political opponents; Trump predicts “even bigger stories coming out”, Trump’s vendetta against Obama fueled by 2011 White House Correspondents’ Dinner, mailing list of 2,000 Trump-hating prosecutors unleashed against Barr once again
2:41:17Clip from Show 780 in 2015 with Trump all-in on Bill Gates; Gates on limited efficacy of flu vaccine in elderly recipients and need to “amp it up”, “there will be some risk and indemnification needed” when deployed at scale; Ingraham on positive results for hydroxychloroquine in NYU study; Texas nursing home successfully treats 39 patients with the drug
2:50:02Donation Segment
3:00:09Elon Musk’s illegal reopening of Fremont plant with encouraged by Trump
3:01:17“COVID denier” Jair Bolsonaro, “wear a mask” sign on Christ the Redeemer statue, ACC proposes mask on Statue of Liberty; report attributes slower spread in Africa to younger average population rather than use of anti-malarials; Boris Johnson predicts monitoring will eventually be able to detect “the COVID is detected in the water supply of a certain town”
3:04:40Democracy Now on Bernie Sanders and Ilhan Omar joining “300 lawmakers around the world” pushing World Bank and IMF to erase debts of poor nations
3:07:31Promo for CNN specials The Color of COVID with Don Lemon, Coronavirus: Facts and Fears with Anderson Pooper, Sanjay Gupta, and Dr. Greta Thunberg; Rick Bright to testify that unless more is done “2020 will be the darkest winter in modern history”