0:00:00 | JCD: “What’re you doing with Arabic on your machines?” (2:51:16) |
0:00:33 | Facebook’s Friday update breaks “like” buttons internet-wide, bogus revenue numbers, RSU restricted stock units; JCD suckered by ancestry.com “Thomas muthaf—-ing Jefferson!” ad |
0:06:01 | Piers Morgan opens show with “Ron Paul is not going to be your next president!”, Morgan ignores Paul’s real unemployment numbers in favor of “what are apparently good figures”, “that’s aggression!” of preemptive strike on Iran, “let all the British kids go up there and die!” |
0:17:45 | Ann Romney in Nevada: “I’m here to make sure that you listen to me this time and obey” |
0:19:03 | Erin Burnett editorializes about New York drone signs and botches “we’re still debating how much of our freedom are we actually willing to give up to maintain American freedom” |
0:23:50 | Producer Segment: Super Bowl XLVI predictions; ACC’s drinking problem voiceover |
0:42:23 | ACC’s legal document-reading skills cultivated during divorce; count of Le Roy children with tics now up to 20; NBC on newly-discovered 36-year-old woman with Tourette syndrome; New York health department report: “mass psychogenic illness”, nervous DENT Neurologic Institute neurologist Dr. Laszlo Mechtler: “I’m trying to bring some sanity into this insanity”, trichloroethylene “does not cause symptoms like this” lie, “we think we’ve ruled out everything environmental, autoimmune, vaccination-related” lie, report: “no temporal relationship” between Gardasil and symptoms, Sanjay Gupta on staff of DENT Neurologic Institute |
1:03:30 | Sky News “it came in the darkness!” video of shelling in Syria; Obama envisions “Syria without Assad”; Lucifer Clinton and Susan Rice irked at Russia & China for regime change veto |
1:11:44 | Uproar over Leon Panetta’s prediction that Israel will attack Iran; warmongering Israeli official Moshe Yaalon claims Iranian missiles can hit “the great Satan” US; Euronews propaganda: Iran cutting oil exports to “hostile” states; Arab League’s Amr Moussa running for president in Egypt; two American “tourists” kidnapped in South Sinai according to “trusted Bedouin sources”; Sky News footage of fake tear gas battles between Egyptian protestors and police |
1:30:50 | Climategate: record-breaking -23° C in the Netherlands and -10° in Great Britain due to “complex wind patterns” caused by global warming, as predicted by no climate model ever; Dutch Elfstedentocht Eleven Cities Tour, ACC’s concealed carry parka |
1:36:58 | CNN on Nature article proposing sin tax on “processed sugar, added sugar” |
1:43:05 | Contrived “cool” videos of Obama singing Al Green at Apollo Theater event |
1:46:03 | Donation Segment: ACC’s insincere Frosted Flakes voiceover |
2:12:35 | Mimi irked by new stream site; ACC’s “outstanding product” heirloom tomato |
2:17:16 | Anonymous techno-experts leak call between FBI and Scotland Yard discussing hacker Ryan Cleary’s “indecent images”; BBC “dark side of the web” fearmongering; Bureau of Justice Assistance: internet cafe owners should be wary of people who use cash or “tradecraft”; ISP throttling plan for London Olympics; H.R.1981 Protecting Children from Internet Pornographers Act; ACTA protests in Slovenia, Anonymous blamed for knocking ATMs offline |
2:31:00 | And Now Back to Real News: MTV Europe Music Awards with Snooki & JWoww, “the single most magical experience at being at a live music is, it can’t be recreated!” |
2:33:36 | Micron Technology stock jumps after death of CEO Steve Appleton in crash of “experimental” Lancair IV-PT, 2007 crash and earlier aborted takeoff; no more scheduled flights for ACC |
2:40:46 | Roster of possible bets on Super Bowl distraction; final deadline for Greece to cut minimum wage of €751 per month by 25%; precipitous drop in JCD’s Baltic Dry Index |
2:48:36 | Nicolas Sarkozy mandates breathalyzers in all cars, “s’il vous plaît sautez la voiture” |
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