0:00:00 | ACC: “Ugh, hey hey, when you show up for a Christmas show, you get a show!” |
0:00:36 | “The Trump & Putin Show”, ACC beer break |
0:02:01 | Miss Universe 2015: entire franchise sold by Trump, co-winner strategy, Perez Hilton: “thankfully, Donald Trump no longer owns this pageant”, ACC: “he’ll be the first to go”; mixed race, duckface, Steve Harvey’s small font cue card; ACC pageant judging with Boy George; Philippines on US military bases, Harvey: “nailed it!”, USA on gun control: “pay attention”, Harvey: “we need some gun control” vs Tavis Smiley “give every negro a gun”; “why should you be the next Miss Universe” for finalists, no interpreter for Colombia, JCD: “Miss USA thinks this is great!”, ACC on reel-to-reel loops, JCD Audacity 1000x speed vamp, Harvey: “please don’t hold it against the ladies”, JCD: “Fox screwed the dog on this thing” |
0:29:34 | Hillary’s hyperventilating communications director Palmieri backpedals on Trump video accusation, “hot rhetoric”, “SITE International Group” saying “he is being used in social media by ISIS as propaganda”, Jersey “alleged mystery video” (CotD), Katz/Palmieri skit; “fornicator” Bill YouTube video from Japanese jihadi site; Trump: “she’s a liar!” |
0:39:17 | Hillary’s pee break, “shlonged”, “Big Dick Club”, Trump on journalists: “I would never kill them but I do hate them”; Trump and Stephanopoulos spar on Putin vs Clinton body count, Russia selling Iran “beautiful new modern missiles” |
0:56:18 | Producer Segment: PewDiePie/Nick the Rat art feud; further Serial deconstruction |
1:27:09 | Fiorina: “we are using the wrong algorithms” to find terrorists, aborted “in World War II” analogy, “not using” Palantir capabilities vs USA Today “climbing its way up the tech ladder”; Tim Cook to 60 Minutes on privacy vs security: “we’re America, we should have both”, “it would cost me 40%” on taxes, “total political crap”, Chinese manufacturing vocational skills |
1:44:18 | Reuters millennials: Republicans all-in on climate change, JCD: “they never mention that it’s snowing like a sonovabitch in Oregon!” |
1:48:32 | Slightly overmodulated ISIS Christmas message; 0/5 Dvorak millennials know “jack move” |
1:51:52 | Five Skanks The Real mirror-kissing; Ask Adam: Alanis Morissette The Talk off-key medley |
1:58:05 | USA Today self-driving car update; Roko’s Basilisk autonomous millennial thought experiment: “the possibility that capitalism is an alien mental illness”, “this is why thought experiments are bullshit”; Hello Barbie “smart toys” and Mattel server farm, JCD: “give me your parents’ Social Security number”; 3200 inmates released due to “good time glitch” over 13 years; $80M in oddball tax refunds from IRS “glitch” |
2:08:18 | Yale Ami Horowitz petition for First Amendment repeal, “I think the Constitution should be one big safe space”; the No Agenda petition dodge; JCD racist queue tip: choose the black checker, ACC: “you should say, you’re much faster than them white people”, Chinese girl’s cash back in quarters at Target |
2:14:55 | Donation Segment: JCD: avoid women at passport control |
2:31:05 | Tariff rates dropped on Japanese turbine parts by Executive Order; Matt Lee on the road |
2:35:21 | Now coffee is good for you again; Canadian canned air in China |
2:38:18 | Elderly Wisconsin woman calls 911 for “ISIS is great” pillow talk |
2:39:47 | Honolulu police requiring doctor’s note for gun permit; LA police shooting of Noel Aguilar |
2:44:15 | Colorado favored stocking stuffer an $80 “comically large joint” |
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