Call Clooney!

1062 A.I. Zombies (2018-08-23)

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0:00:00ACC: “Oh, we were hacked, we were hacked again, we were hacked … auuuggghhh!” (2:01:23)
0:00:38ACC headed to Chicago for RMH conference, surfing trip with former New York Banker, stock tip: January $200 put on Tesla, Musk’s intent to delist stock rather than go private
0:05:29Elizabeth Warren’s proposed Accountable Capitalism Act for “the largest seizure of private property in human history”, ACC: “Noodle Boy will be pleased!”; tone-deaf Warren’s talking points for Mollie Tibbetts murder; Tibbetts murderer’s fishy blackout confession to police
0:12:52ICE deports 95-year-old Nazi concentration camp guard Jakiw Palij, Soros “happiest year of my life” revisited; British media fearmongering over “No-deal Brexit”, pound “likely to take another tumble”; JCD blames Farage for momentum loss; EU considering SWIFT alternative
0:29:03Alan Dershowitz to Chris Cuomo’s creepy “big head” on Michael Cohen’s “unprecedented” Trump accusation: “any candidate has the right to contribute unlimited amounts to his own campaign”, Obama campaign “what about-ism”, JCD on forgotten Michael Clayton “fixer” role; Dershowitz on “catch-22” for prosecution; idiot CBS panelist: Trump was a candidate
0:44:02Lanny Davis drones on about Trump’s lawyers implicating him in spite of lack of evidence; Scott Adams discovers “Trump Loop”; Rep. Mazie Hirono’s “unindicted co-conspirator” meme in Kavanaugh meeting cancellation, Trump “wants somebody on the Court who will protect his okole”; producer note on receiving payoff from Claire McCaskill for her brother’s embezzlement
0:57:17Stevie Wonder blames Aretha Franklin’s death on global warming; Sharpton Respict jingle
1:00:52Producer Segment: ACC irked by “confirm you received” e-mails
1:15:16Healthline LGBTQIA safe sex guide with genderless body parts “front hole” and “girl dick”; unhinged Dana Loesch: “I don’t even understand all the letters” lie, “there is more than one! what is wrong with you?? screech; AP promotion: PETA forces animal crackers to go cageless
1:26:40Pennsylvania arrests on 1,400 counts of bestiality, “several semiautomatic weapons”, ACC: “there was a goat”, JCD “snakes??” joke; De Volkskrant account of Facebook AI zombie, Dutch “cancer” curse, PTSD and self-medication from horrific videos, coming soon to Austin
1:36:22ACC OTG: surfing with New York banker listening to ABBA, hearing aid broadcasting MAC addresses; all-in on Surface Go, Windows NT UI hiding under Windows 10; JCD on VPNs confusing Bing and Amazon; Three Square Market CEO all-in on chipping employees due to “huge convenience factor”; MIT research on “GPS” implants for drug delivery
1:51:50Elmo doll threatens to “kill James”; Facebag jumping on social score bandwagon; Mendocino firefighters vs Verizon throttling; Microsoft somehow takes down fake Russian hacker sites; Cybersecurity Campaign Playbook promo with advice from former NSA Debora Plunkett
2:05:16Miss America being destroyed from within by “horrible bully” Gretchen Carlson
2:08:53Donation Segment: “Anastasia” Cortes “like” drinking game
2:18:55Producer note: FBI Six-Week Cycle to be reinstated in near future; security clearances rescinded after termination of employment; Robert Mueller in 2003 lying about Saddam Hussein’s WMDs; John Brennan to CFR on geoengineering via SAI stratospheric aerosol injection
2:24:55Brennan nervously walks back “treasonous” to Rachel Maddow: “I didn’t mean that he committed treason, but it was a term that I used, nothing short of treasonous”; Sarah Sanders “he did nothing wrong, there are no charges against him” clip repeated three times in NBC report, mind-reading Hallie Jackson: White House “not ruling out” Manafort pardon
2:33:18Sexual Harassment Update: Asia Argento pays Jimmy Bennett $380k for 2013 sexual assault
2:38:04Koch Brothers organization uninterested in Steve Bannon strategy of fighting impeachment