Call Clooney!

1229 Orange Tongue (2020-03-29)

Show 1229 album art
0:00:00JCD: (old lady voice)They told us to be inside and they’re not!” (0:59:32)
0:00:35JCD on the lookout for six-car Zephyr; ACC thanks truckers and Dudes named Ben
0:01:51Dr. Deborah Birx labeled “orange-tongue ass-licker” after praising Trump in CBN interview; Birx channels Hillary Clinton condescendingly explaining to media the adjustment of Imperial College model from predicting 500,000 to 20,000 UK deaths, “I’m gonna say something that’s a little bit complicated, but I’m gonna try to do it in a way that we can all understand it together”; Prof. Neil Ferguson’s flawed hoof and mouth and swine flu predictions; local CBS producer note on ad buys dwindling to nothing, JCD: “the media will take a beating on the bottom line if they can get rid of Trump!”; ACC reminisces about uplifting human interest stories; pharmacist producer working on separate protocols for the S and L strains
0:20:52Birx tries unsuccessfully to tamp down media hysteria over ventilator shortages, “cutie-pie” journalist badgers Trump; Andrew Cuomo debunks “grossly uninformed” claim that New York has ventilators in storage: “we have ventilators in a stockpile”; producer notes on registered respiratory therapists preparing for “the surge”, empty white tents in LA, mask rationing by bean counters, “no work” in Cook County, JIT mask supplies, layoffs in Washington
0:33:06Dr. David Price describes face touching as primary mode of transmission; Amy Goodman: “the number is far higher because of the lack of testing”, Trump “continues to defy his scientific advisors” lie; Pelosi lies to Jake Tapper: Trump’s “delay in getting equipment to where it’s needed is deadly”, “what did he know and when did he know it, that’s for an after-action review, but as the President fiddles people are dying”; former Health and Human Services assistant secretary Chris Meekins claims CDC lied to administration about tests
0:46:44JCD theory: Italy and Spain inflating casualty counts to get more European Union money; Nigel Farage envisions “the idiots in Brussels replaced by Chinese communism”; Rhode Island sending National Guard door to door to roust New Yorkers; New World Order “social distancing” police in Rotterdam; JCD’s outing at Asian grocery store with mask-wearing patrons, ACC not cutting back on restaurant tips; British drone with Giant Voice System and three operators standing 50 yards away; JCD on old ladies “narcing” on each other in Washington
1:00:01Bill Gates at town hall with Anderson Pooper and Sanjay Gupta: “33% per day” growth necessitating quarantine until end of May, unexplained “prioritizing testing”, bogus South Korea example; Dr. Drew predicts “multicolored wristbands”; Google and Apple COVID-19 apps; Trump administration’s new HIPAA “protections” on health data; Polish tracking app requiring selfie uploads, JCD: “take a picture of your dog!” with your Obama phone
1:11:49Gordon Brown’s op-ed calling for global governance; António Guterres talks up global coordination to PBS NewsHour; Tom Clancy’s The Division Black Friday pandemic trailer
1:21:21Taiwan Allies International Protection and Enhancement Initiative (TAIPEI) Act of 2019 signed into law and US warship headed through Strait of Taiwan; Trump claims to have postponed a call with Xi Jinping to talk to Sean Hannity after botched M5M attempts to boycott press briefings; European and US refiners refusing Saudi oil, gold standard conspiracy theories to be discussed during Zoom Video date with former New York banker; international currencies suffering in comparison with US dollar, “the dollar is on the Iron Throne”, yuan twenty or thirty years away from gaining ascendancy, “recipe for disaster” in emerging markets
1:42:33Producer Segment: “value for value for value” donation; San Francisco encouraging burglary
2:09:30Al Jazeera “Oompa-Loompa” projects airlines bouncing back in the same way as after 9/11 and 2008; FDIC approves banking license for Square; Roger Goodell threatens disciplinary action against any who question NFL’s plans to hold draft on April 23
2:20:00Lame promotion for Earth Hour trying to leverage coronavirus
2:23:09Bill Barr announces “unsealing of a superseding indictment” against four defendants from “former Maduro regime” over narco-terrorism, JCD: “why, when you’re sitting on a trillion dollars worth of oil, are you gonna dick around selling drugs on the side?”; Al Jazeera speculates oil could reach $10 per barrel, official story of China turning back tankers due to outbreak
2:34:57Al Jazeera ad with Joe Biden sounding like Forrest Gump; JCD hearing rumors of a Biden stroke; “zero talent” and “Luhan virus” isos; bogus KXAN story with vocoder silhouette on evil Austin company planning to cut salaries by stimulus payment amounts
2:41:02Donation Segment
2:53:49Bob Dylan releases 17-minute about JFK assassination, “Wolfman Jack” reference to George “Timberwolf” Bush Sr., Trump’s unfulfilled promise to release JFK and 9/11 documents
2:58:39Rebranded Chinese network CGTN confirms effectiveness of chloroquine; One America News “1950s AM radio jock” on Stanford researcher Michael Levitt’s prediction of a quick turnaround and “meaningless” data from WHO; final warning from ACC: “more testing, more cases!”
3:03:02Reprehensible smear attempt on “that woman with the scarf” Dr. Birx by NPR Wait Wait...Don’t Tell Me! panelist Paula Poundstone