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1235 Coronafest (2020-03-19)

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0:00:00JCD: Over-the-top wailing (2:22:44)
0:00:36Dame Jennifer’s The View-style teaser with upbeat opening skit
0:03:14Coronavirus models abruptly replaced by Mike Pence’s chart of “influenza-like illness” dropping off a cliff, Dr. Birx and CDC Director Robert Redfield point out peaks for influenza B, influenza A, and coronavirus, peculiar use of “looking more etiologically about what’s going on”, ACC: “it’s clear: we were conned” with bogus models
0:14:56Dr. Anthony “Angel of Death” Fauci blathering about testing for fifteen minutes; 146 asymptomatic positives at Boston homeless shelter; Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis discusses surprising Santa Clara antibody result; Kamala Harris whines about “every day hearing and watching stories about body bags!”, “not a debatable point” that Trump is to blame, “I absolutely am gonna do everything I can to elect Jie Biden”, JCD: “pick me, Joe, pick me!
0:21:332008 Nobel Prize winner Luc Montagnier’s assertion that COVID-19 is artificial by-product of HIV vaccine research; Amy Goodman rant lying about Trump “fueling the fringe theory promoted by Fox News that the virus came from a lab in Wuhan China”; Trump alludes to “consequences” of knowingly covering up outbreak; $3.7M CDC grant to Wuhan lab under Obama administration; Amy Goodman quotes The Lancet claim that virus “seems to have come from wildlife”, long-winded introduction for “zoo-ologist” Peter Daszak of EcoHealth Alliance NGO; Condoleezza Rice identifies Chinese humanitarian aid “counter-narrative”
0:38:28Trump reminisces about submitting to first-generation swab test “up your nose, and then we hang a right … wiggle it around here under your eye”; Texas reopening retail stores and parks, Gov. Greg Abbott announces advisory committee including Jim “Mattress Mack” McIngvale and the corpse of Ross Perot, JCD: “two guys holding him up, one waving his arm”
0:45:29Trump’s inner stock broker: “the market is actually brilliant”; Global Citizen One World: Together at Home concert with “Belinda Gates” and Elton John; upbeat WHO PSA with Tedros Adhanom sounding like Spanish interpreter in Woody Allen film Bananas; Every COVID-19 Commercial is Exactly the Same “here for you” cliché-fest compilation (CotD); CDC “don’t accidentally kill someone” PSA for Oregonians
0:58:27Reading of the First Amendment to the Constitution in light of attacks on religious gatherings and protests, ACC: “the Second Amendment did its job!”, a somewhat meek Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer gripes about Confederate flag at Lansing “rally”; New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy to Tucker Carlson on arresting fifteen synagogue attendees: “that’s above my pay grade, Tucker, I wasn’t thinking of the Bill of Rights when we did this”, JCD: “that is his pay grade!”; San Clemente California covers popular skate park with 37 tons of sand; Mayor Bill de Blasio promises “enforcement!” and encourages New Yorkers to rat out naughty slaves not following the rules, JCD: “you can be a fink!”; Nigeria kills eighteen of its citizens for not following social distancing when coronavirus has killed only thirteen
1:11:50Smithfield closing another pork plant, producer note on USDA inspectors still on the job, predicts that “the food supply will be shut down” amid near-empty warehouses
1:16:02Australia pushing contact tracing app due within a couple of weeks, JCD anticipates subway-riding practical jokers, Dutch app “already hacked”; Trump-hating Bloomberg op-ed heaps praises on “meticulous and orderly” Germany under Angela Merkel
1:23:47Democracy Now on California nurses suspended for refusal to treat coronavirus patients without protective equipment, USAA vows to stop seizing military families’ stimulus funds to pay outstanding debts, producer note on efforts to shore up cash on hand
1:27:36Producer Segment: Canadian “coronafest” and “plannedemic”, ronaradio.com
1:56:58Amy Goodman flubs “the devised… the revised death toll” in Wuhan; JCD notes Margaret Brennan developing the “Amy Goodman look”; Democracy Now predicts “exponential increase” in cases among Amazon workers, Bezos now worth 140 “biwwion” dollars, visual aid of Bezos with “va-va-voom girl”; Boeing attempting to reopen manufacturing facilities
2:02:30CBS overview of reopening plans among US states, shameless promotion for Gilead’s Remdesivir; protests at Puerto Rican government propaganda TV station; Democracy Now on Venezuelan migrants stuck in makeshift quarantine, Chileans banging pots on balconies; JCD’s 2018 Testing Testing Testing song; Jair Bolsonaro “abruptly!” firing health minister over social distancing recommendation, Guatemalan indigenous populations worried about “devastating” impacts, New York City mandating “facial coverings” be carried at all times, Cuomo declines to dole out money to illegal aliens because the city is broke
2:16:02Trump squabbles with whiny Talk Media News reporter over scripted Defense Production Act question: “keep reading your question”, ACC proposes New York Times be forced to produce toilet paper, Trump mocks Washington Post piece by “third-rate reporter” Maggie Haberman on new “emotional and sometimes cries” White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, “they make up words: sources say”, ACC: “they killed JFK over less than what he’s doing”
2:28:50Joe DiGenova trots out the old thousands of sealed indictments meme after release of unredacted IG report footnotes “as we have discussed on this program for a long time”
2:32:01Donation Segment: “Democracy Now dot org, the Quarantine Report”
2:49:21Port Angeles Washington no longer accepting 911 calls from neighbors narcing on each other, Cuomo “don’t get cocky, don’t get arrogant, we’re in control” iso
2:50:30Al-Jazeera podcast on Manhattan-size swarms of locusts in Kenya, “the swarms are predicted to grow 500 times more by June”
2:54:29Democracy Now gloats over illegal evictions in Southern states, $349bn Paycheck Protection Program exhausted; $2,000 per month from proposed Ryan-Khanna Emergency Money for the People Act, Ilhan Omar’s proposed Rent and Mortgage Cancellation Act