Call Clooney!

300 Show 300! (2011-05-01)

Show 300 album art
0:00:00Sir Geoff Smith No Agenda In the Morning acoustic version, JCD: “Hit it!
0:03:38ACC watching C-SPAN and shopping with Bobbi Eden and Ms. Micky in hot tub
0:06:32“Douchebag show” White House Correspondents’ Dinner: douchebag Wolf Blitzer, ACC: “all he was missing was a cravat”, Donald Trump set up by Washington Post, ABC guest Eric Holder; Obama’s long-form birth certificate signed by U.K.L. Lee “ukelele”; Seth Meyers mocking everyone but Obama: C-SPAN “one unpaid electric bill away from being a radio station”, “everyone knows how the MSNBC party works: President Obama makes the Kool-Aid and everyone there drinks it”, Miss USA “will streamline their search for a Vice President”
0:18:52Obama weekly address outtake video; Michele Bachmann “born in Canada” and Tim “Hosni” Pawlenty, John Huntsman “learned English to come here”, Romney universal healthcare, “no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald”, “he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter, like did we fake the moon landing”, “where are Biggie and Tupac?”; Trump pandering to “real ally” Israel in Las Vegas, “we can’t even beat Libya”; 29% in poll as independent, “if I can’t win I’m not doing it for any other reason”, ACC: “I think he’s in it”; gold at $1556
0:33:55Producer Segment: high-ranking elites immune to cancer death; Sir Geoff Smith history
0:50:22Washington Post douchebag after-party photo essay; Valerie “slum lord” Jarrett to Joe Madison on Obama’s college transcripts: “I don’t think anyone would debate his intelligence”
0:53:21Daily Show’s John Oliver satirizes Royal Wedding: “utter fucking bollocks” vs “they’re seeing something which is glamorous and which they aspire to”; activist Charlie Veitch arrested for “conspiracy to cause a public nuisance”, Veitch’s girlfriend: “that’s why he uses a megaphone and not weapons, like what you guys carry”, “that makes me feel that you’re slaves”
1:01:11ACC walking on eggshells watching wedding with Ms. Micky; archbishop’s impressive eyebrows
1:02:26Ask Adam: wedding party sequestered in back room, “does some sex act have to take place?”, London bookies betting on Queen’s hat color and first to cry “John Boehner”
1:05:07Trains Good Planes Bad: US High Speed Rail Association’s Andy Kunz to Fox Business’ Stuart Varney: “well, we have to build it, I mean I don’t know what else we’re gonna have for a transportation in twenty years from now”, Varney cites Chinese situation “worse than the subprime crash”, lame Iraq War cost argument; JCD on PR firms rolling out the interns
1:15:24JCD on Obama’s Montgomery Burns praying mantis hand pose; saluted and passed a note by military guard; Miami Dade College DREAM Act commencement speech, “I’m only going to be president a little bit longer”; JCD: Hillary “too old to run”, ACC predicts behind-closed-doors meetings with celebrities for immigration reform; Obama disses Matt Damon
1:24:30David Brooks: Obama “best education president”, no meetings with Paul Ryan
1:29:46British Journal of Psychiatry article on lithium slowing onset of Alzheimer’s disease
1:32:52Overmodulated recording of phone call to Iraqi MP from Saddam Hussein
1:34:13Donation Segment: Obama quietly delaying don’t ask don’t tell repeal
1:51:09Executive Order replaying Libya script with Syria; Susan Rice propagating fiction of Gaddafi issuing soldiers Viagra so they can effectively rape women, ACC: “Muhammad! I have had this hard-on for more than four hours!”; Washington Week in Review “follow the bouncing ball” on career musical chairs, “General Petraeus will continue to do his job in the CIA, and, and, and, and…”, Obama devotee Gwen Ifill, CIA “dropping bombs in Pakistan”; Libya in danger of food crisis; Ron Paul CIA coup revisited
2:02:41CBC casualty estimates and “reports of unburied bodies” in Syria, Indiana Twitter user translating YouTube videos; NPR On the Media on @JamesMTitus Twitter-bot created by Berkeley-based Web Ecology Project
2:07:37Debt ceiling predictions; lisping former Treasury Secretary Paul O’Neill to Bloomberg: Geithner using “financial accounting tricks”, “people who are threatening to not pass the debt ceiling are our version of al-Qaeda terrorists”; incoherent Patty’s Mexican Table salsa entremet
2:14:23Sony password exfiltration as grounds for stepped-up cybersecurity; haughty Lucy Napolitano staking out “civilian side of the government and for the intersection with the private sector”, ACC: “I bet you she dresses up at night in, like, leathers with a whip and stuff … high boots, with a cap … whipping some guy who’s wearing a diaper”
2:17:05Jean-Paul Pougala article on $400M North African communications satellite mostly bankrolled by Gaddafi, undercutting $500M yearly fee to Western interests and “billions of dollars in debt and interest that the initial loan would generate for years to come, and in an exponential manner … in order to plunder the African Continent”, Obama’s stolen assets “Libyan contribution to three key projects”, “it is easy, then, to understand the French wrath against Gaddafi”, Côte d’Ivoire’s “enemy of Africa” Alassane Ouattara a puppet of France, “it is increasingly obvious that after Libya, the Western coalition will go after Algeria”
2:24:05Upcoming Brood XIX cicada hatch; Great ShakeOut drills coincident with tornado outbreak, FEMA twiddling thumbs; Wall Street Journal Magazine “decadent bullcrap” on restoration of Haiti’s Iron Gate Market
2:30:08Magic Numbers: stock market 33-month high and dollar 33-month low
2:31:01Outro: David Brooks on destructiveness of self-esteem movement for end of show