Call Clooney!

511 Warming Up to Iceland (2013-05-09)

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0:00:00JCD: “Please, can you peel me another grape!” (2:15:37)
0:00:34Obama heading for Austin, CTO Todd Park on “middle class jobs and opportunity tour”, new “open and machine-readable” Executive Order; ACC missing Texas “Dutch day” celebration
0:06:01Top of the news worldwide: Cleveland kidnapping, Charles Ramsey: “I knew something was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran into a black man’s arms”; Ted “Golden Voice” Williams’ mother, Dr. Phil appearance, Kraft mac & cheese voice-over; fake Facebook ego-feeding, annoying chirpy “awesome!”, idiotic daily video podcasts, “you’re worth it” advertising meme; North Korea’s disappearance from the news cycle, boring C-SPAN
0:23:20Aunt of kidnapped woman “‘kay?” press conference, ACC: “this was a brothel”, Benghazi distraction; fake CNN satellite interviews from same parking lot; institutions thanked for “feeding and giving beverages to the sheriff’s office officers”
0:31:25Washington Post tweet: Benghazi watchers “rich, middle-aged men and Chick-fil-A lovers” with bogus demographics; Carolyn Maloney scolds public for “attacking Americans”; No Agenda theories revisited, Carney video lie to Jake Tapper; Gregory Hicks “stunned” by Susan Rice’s video claims on Sunday talk shows
0:49:01Elijah Cummings takes witness to task for disagreeing with Dempsey on rescue time, “death is a part of life”; Jackie Speier offers Gregory Hicks a post “in a location that you desire”
1:00:13Donation segment #1; Peerage Office to consider Grand Gentleman; JCD’s Google blacklist
1:14:43“Potential domestic terrorist” Buford Rogers arrested by FBI in Minnesota with “cache of weapons and explosives”, two-year-old Facebook post; Arizona high school student arrested for IED “not planning out on carrying any attacks”, delivered by housekeeper to authorities, “valid IED”; chemistry set reminiscences
1:25:16“Government abandoning DSM” propaganda; Cracked author James Davies on DSM staff ties with pharmaceutical industry; producer Haldol horror story: “I wanted to die”; FOD Female Orgasmic Disorder; singer Lauryn Hill sentenced to counseling for believing conspiracy theories about music industry “pumping out mindless crap”; Obama at Ohio State: “you’ve grown up hearing voices that incessantly warn of government as nothing more than some separate sinister entity that’s at the root of all our problems”; Obama in 2007: “no more illegal wiretapping of American citizens”, “no more ignoring the law when it is inconvenient”
1:41:56Drunk or not drunk O-bot Chevy Chase on failure to close Gitmo: “he chooses his priorities as he learns more”; Obama introduces Commerce Secretary nominee billionaire Penny Pritzker, ACC on Hyatt “slave quarters for Mexicans”; Elon Musk suing because his $95.5M grant wasn’t enough; Kleiner Perkins and Fisker’s $500M grant; JCD explains “tit in a wringer”
1:56:46Donation segment #2
2:10:16Christine Lagarde disrupted by students yelling “mic check!” at Free University of Amsterdam
2:15:46JCD tries out Google Glass, “you rub the side, you rub the side!
2:18:29Adam’s Gonna Read His E-mail: “shut up or you will die” lockdown story from blind autistic student; kindergartener describes secret “lock it up” drill; producer chicken recipe; ATF bomb threat checklist skit, “what is address”
2:31:20Icelanders vote down paying back £2.3bn Icesave bank bailout; UKIP gains in local elections
2:39:05Today show idiots on 3D printed pistol: “the gun laws are so much behind every part of society”; Steve Israel on expiring “Undetectable Firearms Act”
2:43:31Castle episode with military drone in New York, “we need a man who sees roses”