| 0:00:00 | JCD: “I, this is stupid is why!” ( 0:21:54) | 
| 0:00:38 | BART gearing up for 200k Super Bowl fans, J’Johnson: DHS “working overtime”, looking for “counterfeit merchandise”, X-ray trucks; Über protest, Alexa’s Über skill woes, JCD: “this machine is broadcasting subliminal messages”; ACC predicts Panthers, Beyonce album “drop”, basketball “drained it”, ABC promoting Oscars via #OscarsSoWhite, JCD predicts Broncos, lame Super Bowl City vs US Open | 
| 0:17:03 | BART swapping out fake security cameras for $1.4M; Coast Guard “maritime exclusion zone” for San Tomas Aquino Creek, JCD: “maybe some Viet Cong could be coming up the creek” | 
| 0:22:21 | ACC now officially K5ACC; Bruce Perens introduces amateur radio: “when the apocalypse comes we’re the guys who are gonna save the world, right?” | 
| 0:24:19 | Democrat debate: Hillary on “hedge funge managers” loophole, Chuck Todd asks for transcripts; Carl Bernstein: White House “horrified”; classified e-mails to Colin Powell; Sanders on Goldman Sachs’ $5bn fine; Hillary’s gender card, female college students offended; Madeline Albright: “special place in Hell for women who don’t help each other”; Hillary on Sanders’ “artful smear”; “my constituents”; Chelsea “President Sanders” flub | 
| 0:48:10 | Republican debate: low ABC production values, alpha male arm pats for Trump, crap makeup; single blue Trump frame; Trump reveals “we have all donors in the audience”; Barbara Bush: Trump says “terrible things about military”, “I think about Jeb” | 
| 1:02:45 | Bush 43: “the first job of the president is to protect America”; sports recap skit; Rubio “Killary Clinton”; JCD Jeb “word matters” mashup; Rubio & Jeb on women and the draft, ACC: “isn’t he gay?”, Jeb on “gutting the military budget”; Rubio’s ISIS “most dangerous … in the history of mankind” claim; ACC on amped up Rubio, JCD on nose moves, Dabiq apocalypse; Trump: “you’ll find out” what’s worse than waterboarding, Peace Prize nomination; CNN on “Trumper tantrum”, Trump: “I love that phrase”, Ben Carson damage control by CNN | 
| 1:27:37 | Producer Segment: “clippety-clop” origin story | 
| 1:42:12 | Rev. Manning’s church in foreclosure, “this ain’t no fag house”, “until I see you pull a baby out yo’ ass, you ain’t gonna pull this church out from underneath us”; “fag” origin | 
| 1:46:12 | Kerry: Syrians “reduced to eating grass and leaves”, $4.5bn for refugees; refugees in Jordan; EU and UN responses, French ambassador blames Assad for breakdown, Russian ambassador blames rebels; Calais “jungle” refugees attempt Channel crossings | 
| 1:58:22 | Kirby resurrects “Daesh”; Gayane “RT hottie” Chichakyan asks for proof of Russian jet in Turkish airspace, Kirby: “when you’re done I’ll talk”, “it’s not an accusation, it’s a fact!” | 
| 2:03:17 | Somali plane explosion “laptop bomb”; JCD on sniffer false positives | 
| 2:07:07 | UN rules Assange “arbitrarily detained”, Assange: “victory of historical importance”, Britain rejects ruling, no recognition of political asylum | 
| 2:16:08 | Texas HB2 requires admission rights which hospitals are denying; Sanders targets big pharma; Martin ShrekliShkreli takes the Fifth, “I intend to follow the advice of my counsel, not yours”, Cummings: “bad boy of pharma”; Sanjay Gupta on zika virus in saliva | 
| 2:36:51 | Dame Sarah Harris famous in Australia | 
| 2:38:44 | Donation Segment: ACC’s jury duty woes; wife douchebag callout | 
| 2:52:38 | #RIPTwitterand algorithmic content, ACC: “short Twitter”, JCD “what you missed” gripe; LinkedIn mission creep; JCD dog head story | 
| 2:59:46 | Asra Nomani on Muslim women “separate and unequal” at mosques; Obama Hadith correction |